The Spinal Dreams

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I praise the Lord for pampering me with miracles upon my life; my health, family, moods, meals, hobbies, friends and above all, the dream. It has actually taken me a journey to practice patience, humor and adopt a friendly attitude when facing challenges in life. I have learnt that while pursuing a dream, you tend to undergo all sorts of challenges that will test your sanity while also meeting some clueless 'I know' persons that ramble around you for their own interests. The challenges are impulsive, never planned for but are there to strengthen you on your way to greatness.

Realizing the hiccups I face are similar to what most people also probably face, I feel informed to note some of the short comings that can give you a way to spot the different behaviors exhibited by people within your social cycle. For example, people that do you wrong, have no guilt rather get excited and happy when you look or sound cracked or strained. Little do they know it's a lesson of not doing things right, the basic challenges that face dream seekers, and a victim I have been. I will relate with personal experiences that have molded me into who I am today.


These times happen from the first season of your problems. It's the norm I can say and like fog, you’ll see it and feel it.

I quit employment to build my dream and I recall it being on a 17th of November (excuse the year). I had approached my boss then for some help as I had a sick sibling that needed my attention - an emergency as it sounds. I requested for an early pay and leave for two days when the unexpected happened. I did not receive any response, and as time passed, I was getting calls on my phone minute by minute for a response from home. Not understanding the attitude I was receiving at the work place, I excused myself and headed to a room, locked myself in and asked God how was it possible that that was happening in times of need. A while later in that same room, I made a decision to fold over and start a new chapter of my life chasing my dream, I quit.

Now, people majestically isolated me. Spark by spark they left since at a point I turned a beggar that did not have an assurance on when to pay back my request since no capital was flowing in. No monthly salary hence no accurate time to guesstimate my repaying period. I was forced to sell the little I had one by one whenever need arose, and since I could not confirm the ‘when’ of refunding my debts my statements were of no value to anybody. I got to a point of having a meal once a day or no meal at all, and trekked in a pair of shoes season to season. The rough road had just begun!


Challenges (Life’s Special Effects)

As I approached people for assistance on particular issues I fell into traps of either getting scammed or just miraculously escaping the jaws of such schemes, wasting time, resources and energy.

I remember my early mornings with no breakfast and when I afforded it, it was either strong tea served with a big bowl of nothing or water with bread, depending on which side of the coin that day was giving me. At times my gas would get finished without me having the means of getting a refill, and since I let myself get addicted to this type as my only means of cooking or heating, I would get screwed! So I adopted ‘new’ techniques of survival, like preparing my meals in minutes, or taking cold baths to eliminate heating bills - token now was a scary word. Fear of getting high water bills from the ‘landlometer’ made me economize the use of water. I would skip showering a day in two days, wash utensils twice a week – I can only afford to use a plate, a cup and a spoon, wash clothes once a fortnight and avoided unnecessary visits to the toilet. I contacted almost all persons in my phonebook and I noticed we seemed similar at the time since the responses were 'Pia mimi sina' (I too don't have).

There were days I would have an appointment in town and with the numerous transportation challenges, I would either be late or not make it at all. The transport fee was a pain! Matatu (PSVs) conductors would never understand you for paying less to their expectations. No debts, no free ride, yet the fare is always high without forgetting I would board about four times in a day - to town, from town to work and back home. I remember getting irritated by my stinky breath. I would talk to someone from a distance or place my palm around the chin to block my mouth when talking. My esteem dived low. “You are not on the wrong track; that is expected, it happens to the best of us. Don’t expect help from everyone! There is always a way…” I consoled myself while inside fighting with questions that I had no answer to. Is this worth it?

Some of these problems will leave you laughing at yourself in disbelief. There was this day while getting out early morning for work, having taken no breakfast, I stood at the gate confused on which direction I was to take and board for town. I had three options for the routes that I could take all with various obstacles like the distance, fare charges, and availability. I took the ‘fair’ fare charges route and that was not enough. While at the stage, I assembled myself like am waiting for someone lest they know I was waiting for the fare to go down to what I had in my pocket - Ksh.40, from the 80 bob they were asking for at the time I arrived, and the way I thought I had cracked the math. I waited for two good hours and at this time the matatus usually stop at each and every stage picking and dropping passengers, which equals to more time lost!

On arrival at the work place, the duties I was to do as from 8:00a.m were still waiting for me and yet I looked and felt already worn out. I had pale dry lips and was licking them minute after minute to hide my troubles and try look lively. Lunch was still on the way and I could only afford to buy the Ksh.20 fried ground nuts pack and have it with water or a meal matching my broke pocket, and I still had to go back ‘home’.

While facing the hardships, I have also been met with some positives too that came unexpected and that modified my work and life formula. I would attribute this to the teachings and guidance I acquired after I enrolled to a dream building institution and also aligned myself more with my faith. This was after realizing some of the skills I lacked that really affected my inner self and social life. From thence, I can say I’ve been able to deal with my challenges with a lot of optimism and gratitude.

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